When asked back in September 2018 to write a “short” piece on “Why do I do, what I do?” I never imagined where it might lead me. It led me to the horrible truth of prejudice, exclusion and a stealth act against my human rights by bureaucracy here in the United Kingdom.
You see, for me anyhow I must live in the truth. I was taught as a child to be honest and respectful. I’ve always naively expected that in return from society. I am happy to be accountable for everything. I’ll never lie and confess the truth. The problem as I’ve discovered increasingly with bureaucracy I have found is that this is not reciprocated in many situations which I find traumatic within itself.
I knew I wasn’t living in the truth and my voice had been taken away at some point. And I cannot possibly help others find their voice if I hadn’t found my voice again and ultimately the truth from my past.
Ultimately the question “Why I do what I do” led to starting research again of my own life. Chapters still open by my own neglect. I had experienced some horrific things in the past which I couldn’t rationalise. Life can be very tough for some LGBTIQ+ people. Especially if they are HIV+ and/or autism-spectrum individuals. Conservative types can be very cruel to us, even within the LGBTIQ+ community who should know better to be judgmental.
I’m a very low maintenance type of guy. Hence, when I ask for help I really do need it. I had hundreds of massive outstanding personal questions going around my head constantly. Here are probably the Top 5:
- Why did no friends listen and/or help to my concerns when I told them of my agony about some type of authority was intervening in my life?
- Why did no friends support me with the evidence I was accumulating of the intervention? By this point, I was stressing that my once-profitable company (over £400,000 yearly turnover) was suffering as a consequence of these actions.
- Why had authorities (NHS in particular) had acted in ways that have made me feel discriminated, bullied, neglected and with all of this, arguably abused. Why were these authorities not being transparent with me?
- Why did my immediate family (grandmother excluded) treat me in such a vile and at best non-supportive way when my mother died in 2015? Why did some of my great friends at the time seem to join on this “band-wagon” hideousness?
- With the many times I was really struggling mentally, why did no-one ever take me away for a weekend or even a week somewhere so we could talk frankly about what was going on? Why was I kept in the dark which made me want to become excluded from everyone and everything?
Now I have my autism under control again, I’ve regained my own dignity that was stolen from me by bureaucracy and it’s processing. I’m proud of the many positive traits I have such as truth, loyalty, and transparency. I find many non-autistic people seem to lack these qualities. many people will lie through their teeth (or simply ignore) to save their own mistakes.
However, my own previous chapters were desperate for answers which I couldn’t answer (some listed above). It was so apparent that answers were required before I could move forward to help others. I was desperate to be creative again, to allow my Hero360 Project non-for-profit to serve the LGBTIQ+ community best, hopefully beyond the rest of my life.
My research not only took place in Brighton but took me back across to the United States. It was essential to pick up on half-finished research which I started in Pheonix, Arizona and Houston, Texas in 2015. This time my research took me to Brooklyn Heights, New York where I learned a whole lot more than I had hoped. It’s still mind-blowing, Americans do it better! – and I will write a book one day.
With concluding the research, I now understand how and why my behavior had changed over a long period. All the same, it’s heartbreaking finding that bureaucracy has interfered in my life without telling me directly, especially a diagnosed autistic-spectrum person. I’m an intelligent guy, but the level of complexity of what people had done to me is inhumane and beyond morals.
I’m happy the research is over. After digging and digging the truth prevailed. The fact is that I had been placed into various schemes which are called CSP’s (Community Security Partnerships) under Criminal Law in the 2007 Parliamentary Act. It means basically I was classed as a danger to the community and that different community groups with bureaucracy, researchers, vigilantes (and who knows what else) had permission to intervene in my life without being open and honest with me.
Seriously, what world do we want to live in?
My understanding of society is that if you are not behaving in a lawful way, you’ll get in trouble by the authorities. At least one would have the chance to explain and be answerable. One should never be manipulated, lied to or the truth withheld, especially by the community, trust can never be reinstated.
An individual should always have a right to a reply before any action is taken against them. Otherwise, to secretly exclude a person is just going to send them crazy inflicting more mental health issues and potentially suicidal. It doesn’t take a genius to appreciate that.
Many charities provide an awesome service and are essential for where the government fails. Some charities also have an agenda to ultimately coerce into accepting their fundamental beliefs. From my experience religion, causes far more problems than it helps to solve.
I would suggest having an agenda could violate anyone’s freedom of choice to decide how best to recover. Not just the homeless are being exploited, but other recreational drug users. In particular, HIV+ gay, bisexual, non-binary peoples are seen by some as a health threat, especially if they are single.
Some are being targeted for secret intervention therapy such as “Gay Conversion Therapy” which is mostly done digitally into every device that they own, and still legal in the UK. They face interventions in dating apps with potentially devastating consequences with the agenda of the vigilante seeking to convert or destroy that person.
more worryingly they seem to target HIV+ men on dating apps and websites who practice “Bareback” sex. They see them as a health risk and I assume even more ruthlessly and recklessly seek to cause harm to that person.
The public should be educated on facts rather than fears. Finally, the Health Authorities in England now have confirmed: that if an individual has an undetectable viral load they cannot pass on the HIV virus to a negative person. I’ve known this for 20 years.
Here is a downloadable fact sheet as circulated at Sexual Health clinics in London:
Vulnerable LGBTIQ+ men are being placed in “Club101” by our bureaucracy and sometimes their own peers. Often because of wrong judgments and conservative bias. Some turn into absolute addicts because they are placed into this never-ending cycle of deception by bureaucracy and their community-policing.
Most are absolutely tortured and abused by the practices that the community-policing can involve. They stay addicts more often than not due to this and harm themselves over and over again. CSP’s (Community Security Partnerships) are NOT THE ANSWER. Many partnerships are not in the person’s interest and causing far more mental health problems than the person had in the first place. They can lead to suicides and will continue to do so.
Addicts face harsh judgments with CSP’s which keep them low. They often find themselves manipulated. Rest assured, all addicts want is to get better and to become their own proud person. They just need a break, nothing more!
With a personal approach, I will now drag these great LGBTIQ+ people out of this scheme whilst I fight it legally myself. Offer them a non-judgemental ear, tell them how bureaucracy currently (wrongly) operates, offer some transparent goals whilst preserving their dignity.
Unconditional love from dogs is for some, a kick-start into caring to engage with their feelings. Dogs give unconditional love every day, every hour. Dogs give genuine love and respect, most of all a loyal friend through the bad times. Combined with the outdoors, away from the city hustle, a peaceful and healing environment for them to gather life perspectives and life goals with a person that has been through it.
The current methods I’ve experienced by CSP’s leads the treating of endorsed people by the bureaucracy as a bad animal. The person from all directions receives kicking (metaphorically) in the guts until what the authorities and the community and even their neighbours perceive as “acceptable”. It just makes already vulnerable people act in worse way and not willing to engage with anyone! Are we living in the 18th Century? This is insane!
The Hero360 Project & Fund tailored “Addict to Awesome” program is revolutionary and arguably the best therapy available anywhere in the world. It’s kind, it’s permanent and most importantly we don’t add to the existing trauma.
Transparency is key to a person recovering from any trauma, this preserves their dignity and gives them focus for achievable goals.
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