It’s Hard To Be Me

Cyndi Lauper’s (pictured above with me) 2007 song “It’s Hard to be Me” and the theme to her reality VH1 TV series “Still So Unusual”. The song relates well to my awkward ways and is a bit of headbang track. The lyrics and the noise within the song relate very much to my autism-spectrum brain. The noise is normally caused by other humans that don’t act in a reasonable or transparent way. It is constant and can affect my behaviour if unchecked.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud to be me but it’s a very hard journey to stand up for human rights especially when bureaucracy works in favour of “mob” rule. It doesn’t mean the mob or bureaucracy is right. The journey is more painful than pleasurable at times. But, how can I be part of a community that discriminates and doesn’t allow all citizens to have an equal voice?

If I speak about something, I speak from experience. I’ll have very strong opinions as I have lived it and know it back to front. however, my experience is unique and always eager to listen and learn further from other people who have lived a similar path and speak from their experience.

I never speak out about something I haven’t lived as I don’t have the experience or knowledge. I do like to listen and learn from people who do have the first experience with things that I have not experienced. Especially when it comes to mental health or equality. I don’t have kids but I care about the direction of humanity – not great lately with social media and dating platforms arguably out of control.

If you’ve been reading about my experiences I can assure you everything is very real and more. I look forward to updating via blogs once I have had disclosure regarding the community-policing that has been involuntarily forced upon myself. Only after then can I move on and help others in full capacity.

I look forward to that day and living in a kinder, more transparent world for everyone. Equal rights are human rights.

2 Replies to “It’s Hard To Be Me”

  1. V hutchins

    You’ve got something amazing here
    Keep going
    I’ve just tried to donate my $
    But it didn’t seem to execute
    Or maybe it did
    I’m trying to get an understanding of the whole picture here
    But support you for the friend you’ve always been
    Love you

    • Brian Penfold Post author

      Dear Ness, Thank-you so much for even trying to donate… it means the world. i’ve check the donate button and it is working with my card here in the UK. You know what my whole experience has taught me, I am now an expert in addiction – and what I have been forced to go through is not the way to solve any addiction problems. I will show (with the right support) how addiction is much easier to solve and with less harm on the already vulnerable peoples.


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